The Acolyte (The Acolyte - S01E08) - Live Action Series

Discuss the latest Chapter! (Discussion)

I think the Jedi are a massive system of unchecked power, posing as a religion, a delusional cult that claims to control the uncontrollable! SPOILERS.

Has anyone ever looked dumber in Star Wars?

It's over. Good riddance. "The Acolyte", that is, the episode of the same name (and the series) will certainly be liked a lot by the same people who were dubbed "Reylos" during the sequel days. And now that this series has concluded (a season 2 would only be greenlit if everyone at Lucasfilm and Disney is on crack) it becomes more than obvious who Headland wanted to have as an audience. Too bad for her though that the vast majority of all the other Star Wars fans either never bothered to watch the series to begin with or tuned out as the season progressed.

They had the audacity to include Darth Plagueis in this

One of the core issues of this show, and there are several, but this is probably the worst of them all, is that Headland apparently believes she managed to portray the four Jedi, Sol, Indara, Torbin and that wookiee, as shady individuals and she also believes she gave good reason for Torbin to be suicidal and for Sol to be haunted by guilt over the "murder" of the head space witch for all those years. When in episode 7 we saw how head space with #1 assumed a threatening demonic smoke form, was about to turn Mae into smoke as well and with head space witch #2 being a clear lunatic and several other witches aiming bows and arrows at them Sol did the only thing that made sense, he stabbed the stupid idiot witch with his saber to protect the child and to stop the attack he had to believe is about to happen just now. That head space witch #1 told Sol with her dying breath that she wanted to let Osha go is just the icing on the cake of nonsense. How about you tell that to the Jedi as the very first thing when they arrive? Uninvited or not. So Headland thinks we sympathize with the witches, who are all psychotic and/or stupid and very aggressive. And the finale is all about Sol's massive "guilt" over the "murder" of the mother. Only, when you think about it for just 3 seconds you immediately realize that head space witch #1 who died never even was the mother! That role was filled by head space witch #2, the horny one. And she just dematerialized never to be seen again. There wasn't even a body. At best Sol killed the "father". But those are semantics and do not change the fact that the core conflict of this show is just utter nonsense. The Jedi did no bad thing here. The witches were evil.  

If the Wachowskis made Star Wars instead of The Matrix

The episode itself: Osha gets a fit under the helmet, Qimir has some trouble getting it off of her, but Osha had a vision and now knows exactly where Sol and her sister are. The two agree to fly to the space witch planet together. As they leave we do see what can only be Darth Plagueis hiding in the shadows, watching them... Whatever. I will talk about it later. On Sol's ship Mae needs 30 seconds to free herself from the shackles, because Sol is an idiot who does not check Mae for anything that might help her escape, like a small droid with lockpicking skills... And when Sol is about to tell Mae that she and Osha are just one person in two bodies he never gets to say it because she steals the shuttle and tries to escape. Sol goes after her but for some reason known only to Lesly Headland the stupid gopher thing (Bazil) does not like it that Sol is about to catch up with Mae as they fly through a planetary ring... so Bazil sabotages Sol's ship, he collides with the shuttle, the two ships crash on the space witch planet. Qimir and Osha arrive as well. Qimir finds Sol and a pretty long lightsaber fight begins, think Neo from The Matrix if he used lightsabers. It does look flashy but ultimately I feel this is a really bad fit for Star Wars. A franchise like Star Wars needs continuity when it comes to style and this is so far removed from Star Wars, and more like The Matrix or any other wire fu movie ever that it's a bit distracting. Meanhile Osha finds Mae, the two have a bitch fight and eventually Mae tells Osha why she failed at being a Jedi, because the person that murdererd their "mother" tried to train her, Osha never managed to quell her negative emotions and thus quit the order. Sol meanwhile beats Qimir.

Qimir is no match for Sol

But then Mae arrives, knocks the lightsaber our of Sol's hand (which hits a rock and cracks open, Sol's saber must be made of clay or so), she fights him but cannot best him. Sol then makes his confession about the "murder" of the head space witch... and Osha is in the background all this time and listens to his story. So she does the only thing that makes sense. She force chokes Sol to death. And Sol's lightsaber she picked up begins to bleed its crystal as she kills him, so Osha goes full Sith just like that. That's a world class character arc. But the other Jedi with Vernestra are on their way, so they need to escape. Mae and Osha flee the fortress, Qimir hides away. A small army of Jedi with Vernestra arrives, checks the scene, Vernestra uses the Force to find out what happens... and tells the other Jedi to chase after the sisters. And we also learn that Qimir was indeed the padawan of Vernestra. In the end Qimir catches up with Osha and Mae, who are at this tree they used to play at as kids, and Osha agrees to become Qimir's apprentice if he lets Mae go.

Sol hesitates for an eternity so Mae can knock the lightsaber out of his hands

But since Mae, who was all about killing Jedi for most of the show, and even tried to kill Sol in episode 6 (half heartedly) wants nothing to do with any of this (do not ask!) and so the genius plan is developed that Qimir wipes Mae's mind and erases all her memories of her sister and of Qimir or anything she did really for him. So when the Jedi apprehend her she will be of no help to them. The sisters do have a tearful goodbye before that and Osha promises to find her again etc... and I just sit here in confusion and wonder why the heck Mae just won't go with Qimir and Osha????? Nothing here makes any sense at all. WHATEVER.

The least terrible character on this show dies of course for continuity reasons

How it all ends: Osha and Qimir end up holding hands on his "unknown planet" while they gaze over the sea. I suppose this is Headland's idea of "romance." Vernestra sweeps it all under the rug and lies to the senate about the entire incident and says Sol snapped, he killed his co-conspiritors who tried to cover up the terrible incident on the space witch planet. But all is fine now. And then in the very last scene we see as Vernestra approaches Yoda ... and the series ends.

Romance Disney Star Wars style, toxic, idiotic and just plain awful

Let me briefly talk about the Vernestra sub plot, she gets a visit by a senator who does not like the Jedi at all and rarely has a script writer inserted their own sentiments so blatantly obvious... what the senator says "I think the Jedi are a massive system of unchecked power, posing as a religion, a delusional cult that claims to control the uncontrollable!" is a perfect showcase for Headland's fundamental misunderstanding of Star Wars and the Jedi. While the senator talks about emotions it is said that Jedi are basically ticking time bombs and if one of them loses it who could stop him?Vernestra is portrayed (quite clumsily and badly acted) as this extremely shady and borderline evil person, unfit to be a Jedi. Things become utterly bizarre when the senator accuses Vernestra of conducting a murder investigation without informing the senate. Excuse me???? Since when would senators be involved with criminal investigations? Are we to believe senators directly control the "space police" aka Jedi and demand reports? WHY? Anyway, the short subplot with Vernestra is the most telling plot element here. Yes, Leslye, you do not like the Jedi. You want people to feel sympathy for poor Qimir, the mass murderer and stupid dark side psycho space witches... what does this tell us about the showrunner?

Canon just died

Some other random nonsense from this episode.... When Mae accuses Sol of murder and of how he covered all up and never even told the high council Sol's defense is that he did it all for Osha, she was too old, they never would have let him keep her, also without Mae they never had any proof that the twins are a vergence or were created with the help of the vergence through the Force, which would have made Osha very important to the order etc pp.... And I wonder... did Headland not read the scripts for her show???????????????? Let me remind you: in episode 7 (so only last week!!!!) Torbin takes blood samples and these blood samples tell the Jedi that the two twins are not natural, since their midichlorians are a perfect match, even twins would show a difference here, but since it's all identical it can only mean that the twins were created by unnatural means and really are just one person split in two. In short: THEY HAVE ALL THE PROOF IN THE WORLD. Mae is not needed, they have the test data.... Maybe too much coke was snorted or Headland just doesn't care? Also... what on earth is this gopher doing? He looks all angry and sabotages Sol's ship as he's about to catch up with Mae... the same gopher who in episode 6 attacked Mae, hissed at her and humped her leg??????? WHAT ON EARTH IS THIS???? Who wrote this? And why? Can ANYONE explain to me what this stupid thing is doing here and why??????

A word about the romance... why is Disney Star Wars so obsessed with unhealthy, toxic and outright abusive relationships? Rey felt sympathy for someone who is an accessory to the destruction of various planets and the death of billions of people, and someone who killed his own father in front of her eyes and tortured her for information. And here Osha goes from "I want nothing to do with you" to "wow, what an 8-pack and nicely hung as well" to "let's hold hands on the beach, oh my dear master, the person who murdered several of my friends about two days ago, but who cares, I am evil now too, because I killed the one person who was like a father to me and cared for me and saved me from these psychotic evil witches, yaaassss, yasssss". It's evident Headland tries to reactivate all the Reylos here. To any normal person this "romance" is just toxic and bizarre and I truly wonder why a lesbian woman would write such a romance. But hey, she was Weinstein's assistant after all and who knows, this may be her personality. Headland spoke about how she wants to challenge gender norms in episode 6 (do not ask!!! it will hurt your brain)... and then she goes for the most clichéd thing ever... the woman who falls for a criminal. Yes, serial killers, murderers and other pathological criminals are highly attractive to some special kind of women, they write them love letters, some even marry them... even female wardens at times have sex with the male inmates. And Headland goes full female stereotype (even if based on reality), so what "gender norms" does she want to challenge here? When this is one of the most female things ever... to fall for the "bad boy" and the "dangerous type". It's almost funny. This weirdo romance will only appeal to one kind of person: a weirdo.  

The character arcs in this show continue to amaze for all the wrong reasons, nothing makes sense. Mae who began this travesty as an evil assassin who then wanted to quit, but when she had the chance to surrender to the Jedi she fought them... then she knocked out her sister and left her for dead or at the mercy of the space moths, grabbed a knife with the intent to kill Sol... only to then have a tearful reunion and kind of reconciliation with her sister, only to then say that she wants no part of whatver it is Osha and Qimir have... and readily accepts the offer to get her mind wiped.... Osha meanwhile goes from "my sister is evil, she is a murderer!!!!" to "boohoohooo I'll find you again, Mae, but only after I've had plenty of angry sex with Qimir" in an equally nonsensical character arc. And as I pointed out previously the major, central character arc for Sol does not work. Headland utterly fails at portraying him as that selfish evil person. She tried to make him borderline obsessive about Osha, yes, but when you look at things then some evil dark side fringe cult tried to groom two kids and for all he knew wanted to sacrifice them to the Great Evil Sithgod in the sky so they'll have a good harvest or so. It was absolutely justified to confront the space witches and when the head witch turned into demon smoke and Mae also was about to dissolve Sol was in the right when he stabbed her. Yet Headland wants the viewer to believe Sol did something terrible.... and when Sol finally comes clear about it all he never even mentions the most important facts... how a bunch of psycho and super aggressive space witches a) mind controlled two Jedi and b) made one Jedi fight everyone else and c) how stupid head space witch #1 did NOT tell the Jedi that Osha can go with them but instead turned into demon smoke and looked very threatening, this is the same as some idiot reaching into a glove compartment and taking out a cigarette lighter in the shape of a gun when the police has stopped him for speeding in his car. They call this suicide by cop. 

What else: yes the action choreography was good... but as I said previously it felt wrong and not like Star Wars. When I want to watch The Matrix I watch The Matrix, I do not think this is a good fit for Star Wars. The flight through the planetary ring also looked good. Other things like Vernestra's office or the castle set looked cheap though. What did they spend 180 million on???

And we need to briefly talk about Darth Plagueis and Yoda... the audacity.... so are we to believe Vernestra came clean about the whole Qimir and Sith thing to Yoda?????? And that he knew????? And never told this old idiot Ki-Adi-Mundi what a moron he is in The Phantom Menace? Also, why was Ki-Adi-Mundi in the show to begin with???? It never amounted to anything... but now we have two high council members who know about someone killing Jedi, Ki-Adi-Mundi also knows that the official version, Sol did it, is bogus, since he was informed about Mae and her secret master. And now Yoda.... Darth Plageuis is just one big "eff you". This is supposed to connect it all. That one of the more liked EU characters ends up in this will probably infuriate quite a few people. It's almost comical how Headland tries to set up mysteries for a season 2. That will never come.

All in all The Acolyte was not just a bad Star Wars series, when you consider such things as "lore" and "canon" or how Headland tries to dismantle the Jedi with pitiful results... no, it is just a lousy series on a fundamental level. Characters change their motivations on a dime, what motivations we are offered make almost no sense, the acting by the main character is atrocious. And worst of all, The Acolyte promised one thing, a series from the point of view from the Sith, it was said we learn more about the Sith. And then we learn nothing. Just same old same old "use your anger... good, good" and in fact the series was much more about some random lesbian space witches who all die. Sure, they were dabbling in the dark side, but they were no Sith. Headland does not get Star Wars and the Jedi on a fundamental level. And her idea of romance is just toxic. The fact these scripts were all approved and greenlit and that $180 million was granted as a budget will forever be one of the big mysteries of our time. But it's over now. And while 12 people on Twitter want a season 2 the ratings are so abysmal that this will only get a season 2 if Kennedy either a) wants to spite fans or b) is clinically insane.

1 Holocron, The Matrix lightsaber fight was ok. Even if not Star Wars. Everything else was either dumb or infuriating. Or both. At least it's over now. Let's hope it will all be forgotten about in three weeks from now.